Monday, October 27, 2008

Concern

One of the nice things about being retired is that I can take a nap whenever I want. As I did, this morning -- I had gotten up to have breakfast, was groggy, and said 'well, I can either take a nap or read that damn election stuff some more'. So....that was an easy choice. Though, as it turns out, perhaps I should have read the election stuff some more. I had a bad dream.

It wasn't the classic scary one -- more weird than anything, including being at some kind of store and seeing young, buff guys walking around as if they worked there, but they were all a) glistening like they'd been sprayed with Pam, b) wearing just baggy white pants and a purple sash, and c) with a tight-fitting purple mesh hood completely over their head. Yeah, right? I don't have any idea where any of those images came from, but I think the underlying un-ease came from my wife telling me last night that she was doing a self-exam, and she Found A Lump. Oh, crap.

So today she's going to see a doc -- not the nurse who we normally see, but an actual doc who's at the same practice -- and she expects that she'll have to go have a mammogram, and possibly a cat scan or MRI. She says she's only a little worried, and I did my best to comfort her. Which is why I got up instead of sleeping in. This morning, I was intermittently thinking Whats The Worst That Could Happen? Which is not a game to play when you're feeling a little down, because you can think of all sorts of things, all of which are in the I hope THAT doesn't happen range.

So we'll see.

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Update: the doc's not sure, but she thinks its just a big cyst (she's had them before). Mammo and ultrasound, coming up.....

5 comments:

Tabor said...

Nope---you don't start asking yourself 'What's the worst that can happen?' Wrong direction. You think about all the good scenarious...and there are many.

Cerulean Bill said...

Alive and healthy is the one I want. Right behind that, alive with a lumpectomy or mastecomy. And then alive, with recurring treatment.

See a trend here?

Unknown said...

It's worrying, I know. We went through something similar a few years ago.

I know it's not much, but I'm thinking of you and your Mrs.

Carolyn Ann

Cerulean Bill said...

On the contrary, CA, its worth quite a lot. Thank yoju.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope everything ends up falling into one of your best case scenarios. :)